Top ten trick or treating vs. sex

10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning.

The #1 reason trick or treating is better than sex…
1. IF YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!

Do You See Dead People? Disclose It
by Broderick Perkins

Most states’s disclosure laws don’t deal with the forms the deceased take in the afterlife, but they do address death as a stigma.

In California the law says you don’t have to disclose a death that occurred more than three years before the sale. 

The California Association of Realtors advises agents to disclose any death, no matter how long ago it occurred, if the seller asks.

The one exception is death caused by AIDS. Federal law define’s AIDS as a disability and such a disclosure could be deemed discriminatory.

“If people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up.”

-Rush Limbaugh

Halloween Idea #3

Six men are suing the makers of a TV reality game show after spending three weeks trying to seduce a South American woman they later found out was a transsexual.

The law suit will include allegation of conspiracy to commit a sexual assault, “because they didn’t consent to be kissed and fondled by a man.”

While viewers know her secret from the start, the contestants only discover the truth after Miriam picks the winner, then lifts her skirt.

About 3,000 men have reportedly signed up for the plastic surgery.

To be eligible, applicants must be at least 21 years old, have a penis not smaller than four-and-a-half inches when erect and be paid less than £200 a month.

 ”We are doing this to celebrate the milestone of 1,000 surgeries of this kind done in the country.”

A man who holds the world record for having the most clothes pegs clipped to his face has narrowly failed to beat his own mark.

Garry ‘Stretch’ Turner was hoping to clip more than 153 pegs to his face at the launch of the 2004 Guinness Book of Records in Manchester.

But his effort failed when he managed to clip on only 150 pegs,

Falloween

Example Citation:

In fact, the Consumer Trends Institute recently coined the word “Falloween” to describe how the decorations we once put up for one night of trick-or-treating have edged away from ghosts and goblins in pursuit of a more seasonal lifespan. 
—Kim Ode, “Christmas? Already?,” Star Tribune (Minneapolis, MN), October 19, 2003