Five Kinky Quotes from the Bible
1) “A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always.” (Proverbs 5:19)
2) “She began whoring worse than ever, remembering her girlhood, where she had played the whore in the land of Egypt, when she had been infatuated by profligates big-membered as donkeys, ejaculating as violently as stallions. You were hankering for the debauchery of your girlhood, when they used to handle your nipples in Egypt and fondle your young breasts.” (Ezekiel 23:18-21)
3) “And Ahithophel said to Absalom, Go in unto thy father’s concubines, which he hath left to keep the house, and all Israel shall hear that thou art abhorred of thy father … so they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel.” (II Samuel 16:21, 22)
4) “When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, And thou seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and has a desire unto her, that thou wouldst have her to thy wife, Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails … and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.” (Deuteronomy 21:11, 13)
5) “But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? Hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?” (II Kings 18:27)
—Jason Ferguson