2004 YEARS AGO TODAY

Mar 28 0

According to Des Pascha Comutus, written in 243 CE, Jesus Christ's birthday was March 28. It later became the familiar December 25 after Rome changed it in 336.

 LARGE GUY BRANDISHES A TINY DOG

(Michigan) - After leading an Oakland County sheriff's deputy on a high-speed chase, a burly contractor got out of his pickup and attacked the officer with his tiny French poodle, swinging the dog on his leash.

"I've seen people ram cars. I've seen people fight," Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard said. "But to take a poodle on a leash and make it a weapon, that's a new extreme in bizarre behavior."

                             

Some Palestinians travelled through several Israeli checkpoints to see the lamb

 

Palestinians have been flocking to see a lamb which seems to have a birthmark spelling out the Arabic word for God, "Allah", in its coat.

Owner Yahya Atrash, from the West Bank town of Hebron, told Reuters the animal was born on Monday, when militant leader Sheikh Ahmed Yassin was killed.

He told Reuters the timing was "clear evidence of God's existence".

Sheikh Yassin, spiritual leader of the Hamas militant group, was killed in an Israeli missile strike.

"This sheep was born in memory of the martyrdom of the great hero Sheikh Ahmed Yassin," the farmer said.

Berlin city council is said to be considering employing pig catchers after it was revealed there are more than 9,000 living wild in the city.

More than 3,000 pigs were killed in Berlin by hunters last year.

TEACHER BITES KID ON NOSE

By ZACH HABERMAN

March 26, 2004 -- A confrontation between a Brooklyn teacher and 15-year-old student turned bloody yesterday when Bryant Murphy bit his pupil on the nose.

The student had earlier left the class without permission, angering Murphy. He and Murphy began arguing soon after the teen returned to the lab.

The two then got in each other's faces, shouting expletives, cops said.

Another teacher heard the noise and went into the classroom to separate the pair, but couldn't pry them apart, so she left to get help.

By the time she came back, Murphy had already chomped on the boy's nose.

Stop Terrorism in Your Neighborhood!

Mark your calendars for this Saturday (weather permitting).   As you may already know, it is a sin for a Taliban male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and he must commit suicide if he does.

So this Saturday at 4 p.m, all American women are asked to walk out of their houses completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All American men should position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to prove they are not Taliban, to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife, and to show support for all American women.

And since the Taliban does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotic, anti-Taliban sentiment.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

From SimonTemplar

Horse Mounted Tiger Hunter
Illustration from Sounandhika Parinaya

A man said to be 130 years old and who once killed a tiger has died in Saudi Arabia.

Zafer bin Yehya al-Asmari made the Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca three times - on foot - and put down his longevity to eating only food grown or farmed himself.

He never wore shoes and never travelled by car, relatives said.

It is unclear how many times the veteran was married, but he leaves behind 60 grandchildren.

Golfers' trophy that upset Hitler turns up in Glasgow
By Auslan Cramb, Scotland Correspondent
(Filed: 26/03/2004)

The Hitler Cup, one of sport's most unusual trophies, has turned up in a businessman's display case in Glasgow.

The Hitler Cup was commissioned by the Fuhrer and was to be presented to the winners of an amateur international tournament in the spa town of Baden-Baden immediately after the Berlin Olympics in 1936.

After the first two rounds the German pair Leonard von Beckerath and C A Helmers were - to everyone's surprise and Hitler's delight - well in the lead. He was so sure of their victory that he set out from Berlin to present the trophy himself.

But when the English pairing of Tommy Thirsk and Arnold Bentley rallied with two brilliant final rounds of 65, Hitler suffered a severe loss of humour, refused to make the presentation and ordered his driver to take him straight back to Berlin.

Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor.

Lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies.

He says society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children to take it up.

Dr Bischinger said: "With the finger you can get to places you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner.

"And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body's immune system.

"Medically it makes great sense and is a perfectly natural thing to do. In terms of the immune system the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works just like a medicine.

"Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods, people who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free."

He pointed out that children happily pick their noses, yet by the time they have become adults they have stopped under pressure from a society that has branded it disgusting and anti social.

He said: "I would recommend a new approach where children are encouraged to pick their nose. It is a completely natural response and medically a good idea as well."

And he pointed out that if anyone was really worried about what their neighbour was thinking, they could still enjoy picking their nose in private if they still wanted to get the benefits it offered.

Former Baywatch star Carmen Electra says she thinks about sex every 20 seconds.

She also says she used to be addicted to stripping and even made a DVD about aerobic striptease.

"I was addicted to it, so I thought I'd put out a DVD. It's a great way to get into shape."