May 26, 2004

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  772 YEARS AGO TODAY

  
  

  

  
  

  May 26 1232

  
  

  Gregory IX issues the bull Declinante jam mundi, bringing the Papal Inquisition to Spain.

  
  

  Dominican monks began staging trials, with the support of the local government. Any accusation of heresy was enough to start a trial going, and the names of the accusers were kept secret. The trials themselves were held in secret. After a brief flirtation with the concept of a "right to an attorney," all due process was dispensed with. The only appeal of a guilty verdict was to the pope.

  
  

   The monks decided that the only way you could really be sure if someone was a heretic was to torture them extensively. The Dominicans were only subject to the papally decreed limit of citra membri diminutionem et mortis periculum, which meant "don't kill 'em" and "no amputations."

  
  

  Anyone could hand over their friends, families, enemies and business rivals to the Inquisitors, who were anxious to meet their quotas. The punishment for a guilty verdict in an Inquisitorial trial could range from loss of property to prison to burning at the stake. And the verdict was almost always guilty.
  

   

  
  

  In the late 15th century, a new branch of the Inquisition was formed in Spain, founded on the notion that Jews and Muslims were pretending to convert to Catholicism in order to undermine the church.

  
  

  The Spanish Inquisition quickly became notorious for a) extremely creative use of torture and b) its tendency to be unleashed on just about anyone at any time, for any reason, or for no reason at all.

  
  

   It went on for THREE HUNDRED YEARS, lasting well into the 1800s.

  
  

  Thousands of "heretics" were burned at the stakes. There was no such thing as an "alleged" heretic under the Inquisitions reign of terror; there were only "repentant" and "unrepentant" heretics.
  

  "Repentant" heretics were those who confessed their heresy and agreed to shell over big bucks to the Church. Poor people accused of heresy (who were relatively fewer) could only save themselves with full confessions and by naming the names of other heretics.
  

  To assist people in repenting, the Inquisitors used any torture method they could think of, with the theoretical restriction that they couldn't break the skin. They included:

  
  

  
  
  • The Judas Chair: This was a large pyramid-shaped "seat." Accused heretics were placed on top of it, with the point inserted into their anuses or genitalia, then very, very slowly lowered onto the point with ropes. The effect was to gradually stretch out the opening of choice.
    
  • The Head Vise: They put your head into a specially fitted vice, and tighten it until your teeth are crushed, your bones crack and eventually your eyes pop out of their sockets.
    
  • The Pear: A large bulbous gadget is inserted in the orifice of choice, whether mouth, anus or vagina. A lever on the device then causes it to slowly expand whilst inserted. Eventually points emerge from the tips.
    
  • The Wheel: Heretics are strapped to a big ol' wheel, and their bones are clubbed into shards.

  
  

  Methods of execution weren't much better. While burning at the stake was the most widely used method, there were other approaches used in special cases:

  
  

  
  
  • Sawing: Heretics were hung upside-down and sawed apart down the middle, starting at the crotch.
    
  • Disembowelment: A small hole is cut in the gut, then the intestines are drawn out slowly and carefully, keeping the victim alive for as much of the process as possible.
    
  • The Stake: A fairly repentant heretic might be strangled, then burned. An entirely unrepentant heretic could be burned over the course of hours, using green wood or simply by placing them on top of hot coals and leaving them there until well done.

  
  

  The last burning was in 1834, but the Inquisition lives on.
  

  Based in Vatican City, the Holy Office of the Inquisition is still one of the most powerful branches of the Church hierarchy. In 1965, Pope Paul VI rebranded the Inquisition as the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith.
  

  The modern church lacked the political power to institute wide-ranging reigns of terror and torture around the world, so the Congregation had to settle for making theological pronouncements in Latin. In 1966, Paul VI even revoked its ability to ban books.
  

  The Congregation did have a few moments of glory in recent years, such as the pronouncement that yoga was a tool of the devil and revealing the Third Secret of Fatima, as well as endless commentaries on why homosexuality is evil.

  
  

  http://www.rotten.com/library/history/inquisition/

  
  

   

  • 11:59 am
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