Seagull Gets Artificial Leg Made Of Barbie Doll Parts

Bird Found With Limb On Verge On Gangrene

Martha the seagull was found by a yacht crew in the city of Antalya, Turkey, with a leg that was on the verge of gangrene.

The crew, apparently inspired by peg-leg pirates, amputated the leg and created a new one with the leg of a Barbie doll and a big Barbie doll hand as a foot.

Martha can now walk and even run around the boat on the leg.

Hungry sheep on the Yorkshire moors have taught themselves to roll 8ft (3m) across hoof-proof metal cattle grids - and raid villagers' valley gardens.

"They lie down on their side, or sometimes their back, and just roll over and over the grids until they are clear. I've seen them doing it."

District councillor Dorothy Lindley added: "What amazes us is they are not frightened. When you try to move them on they look at you as if to say it is their patch and you are not right in the head. You can shout at them and even if they see a dog they are not frightened."

My name is Billie Simpson and i recently tried selling some of my old dirty used socks on ebay an i received over 14,000 hits, and numerous emails from people all over the globe wanting to see and know more about the legend of Billie Simpson the armless college boy.

So some of my good buddies here at Northern Illinois University said it would be a fantastic idea to share with all my fans a 100 picture data cd that can be viewed on your computer. Now these pictures just arnt any plain old boring pictures but photos that have captured the exciting lustful drunken epic college experience and stories that make up my unusual and titillating life of an armless drunken maniac.

 I am putting the cd at the very very low price of only $1.00, so that means your only paying one cent per priceless moments of partying, stripping, and me just being silly.

Billy Simpson

A Catholic priest and nun have been caught having sex in a car at an airport car park in Malawi.

The 43-year-old priest and 26-year-old nun were caught "in the act" in a tinted saloon car.

The pair were brought before magistrates where they received a suspended six-month jail sentence with hard labour.

"It was a bizarre spectacle, the public alerted airport police after noticing the car shaking in a funny way."

The nun told the magistrate she regretted her brief lapse in judgement, while the priest said that as a man of God he accepted Satan had tempted him.

Florida chases election data

By Bob Mahlburg | Tallahassee Bureau
Posted July 29, 2004

TALLAHASSEE -- In the latest blow to Florida's increasingly embattled election system, state and local officials scrambled Wednesday to try to salvage election records wiped out during a computer crash in the state's biggest county.

Secretary of State Glenda Hood sent an investigator to Miami-Dade County, and county election officials brought in a university consultant to try to figure out what went wrong when records of the 2002 Democratic primary vote for governor vanished last year.

Amid the latest flap, Gov. Jeb Bush dispatched his own press secretary, Alia Faraj, to head public relations for the elections office.

ACLU of Florida Executive Director Howard Simon said there's also another reason to be upset about losing records of the tight 2002 Democratic vote -- it may hold clues to why some votes seemed to disappear.

11th Circuit Nixes Sex Toys

Jonathan Ringel
Fulton County Daily Report
07-29-2004

Americans do not have a fundamental right to sexual privacy, a 2-1 decision of the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said on Wednesday.

The split panel upheld an Alabama law -- nearly identical to one in Georgia -- that made the sale of sex toys a crime punishable by up to a year in prison.

Senior Judge James C. Hill provided the swing vote in favor of Alabama's right to prohibit the distribution of "any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs ... ."

Plaintiffs included six people who used sex devices -- some on the advice of therapists as a means to combat depression and improve their marriages. One woman used a device because she suffers from a chronic disability that makes intercourse painful.

Only Georgia and Texas also have bans on sex toys. Shops can survive prosecution if they can prove their products are "for novelty use only." 

In Georgia a physician may prescribe the use of a sex toy, but the allowance does not apply to a therapist who has only a Ph.D.

"The Deck of Weasels"

This hot new set of playing and informational cardsdepicts the enemies of America and Iraq’s liberation in a satirical way while revealing the evidence of their hatred – their own quotes against America!

You’ll laugh out loud looking at the faces of the world’s greatest weasels – each wearing the beret of Saddam Hussein’s Republican Guard – now dubbed "Saddam’s Weasel Brigade."

Under each photo is each Weasel’s quote revealing his anti-American, pro-Saddam ranting!

And the Jokers: Jimmy Carter & Jesse Jackson

Belief in hell boosts economic growth, Fed says

WASHINGTON - Economists searching for reasons why some nations are richer than others have found that those with a wide belief in hell are less corrupt and more prosperous, according to a report by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis.

"In countries where where large percentages of the population believe in hell, there seems to be less corruption and a higher standard of living," the St. Louis Fed said in its July quarterly review.

For instance, 71 percent of the U.S. population believe in hell and the country boasts the world's highest per capita income, according to the 2003 United Nations Human Development Report and 1990-1993 World Values Survey.

Ireland, not far behind the United States in terms of income, likewise has a healthy fear of a nether world with 53 percent of the population acknowledging hell's existence.

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