Ditched in the trenches
By Michael Georgy near Fallujah
November 25, 2004

US Marines thousands of kilometres from home in Iraq face ruthless insurgents, a debilitating desert climate and tasteless food. But they dread nothing more than opening the 'Dear John' letter.

"It's so hard when your girlfriend sends you that letter and says goodbye. It just shatters all your childhood notions of romance," said Corporal Samuel Shoemaker, 22, of Shelton, Washington.

Thousands of US Marines launched an offensive this month that crushed Arab Muslim militants and Saddam Hussein loyalists in Fallujah, Iraq's most rebellious city.

But many say victory can't ease heartbreak by letter or email.

"Man I can't believe it," said an infantry Marine, who asked not to be named.

"I was engaged to a woman who I raised our child with for three years. She wrote me a letter to ask whether we could put it on hold so she could have sex with another man. Then she asked me if I could accept her having sex with another woman if I reject the man."

Strict rules of conduct have not stopped Marines from seeking love on base. But it is not always easy and dating Iraqi women is prohibited.

"(Iraqis) hit on us all the time. It is really annoying and we have enough to worry about out here," said Corporal Ann Gorecka, 23, of New York City.

But Antonio Figueroa spread the risk.

"I have never been in love so I am safe. But I have about three girlfriends so that if one sends bad news that is fine with me," said the 19-year-old native of Long Island, New York.

A married officer who asked to remain anonymous said he would welcome a Dear John letter.

"That would be great. God I would be free," he said.

Man recovering after 'do-it-yourself' surgery

    November 25 2004 at 03:43PM

THEY may be man's best friend, but all dog owners have been embarrassed, disgusted or humiliated by their pooch.

The most common embarrassing hound habit is 'scooting' - dogs dragging their bottoms along the ground in front of guests - followed by pinching dirty pants and playing with them.

A survey by Drontal to find the UK's coolest canine quizzed 1000 dog owners.

A spokeswoman said: 'The most disgusting dog reported was Dandy, an Irish terrier, who consumed a pair of worn underpants which had been left on the bedroom floor.

'He then regurgitated them in a particularly noisy and noticeable fashion in front of guests during his owner's engagement party.'

The third most common problem was dogs messing in the house, particularly after eating leftover takeaways.

Getting amorous with people's legs also made the top five embarrassing habits.

The spokeswoman added: 'Our survey found the breed most likely to get romantic with a stranger's leg is the Jack Russell terrier, with 79 per cent of owners declaring this a common trait.'

Even supermodel Caprice has revealed her chihuahua, Stinker, regularly embarrasses her.

She said: 'She cannot live without her sexy bear and has a horrible habit of humping it every five seconds.'

Finishing off the top five embarrassing habits was interrupting moments of passion.

The Drontal spokeswoman added: 'A very common complaint was flatulence being the most likely cause of romance being spoiled.'

Staffordshire bull terriers were the worst burpers.

Even Elton John's dog Arthur doesn't know when to behave. He was recently snapped sniffing the singer's crotch.

"I volunteered," said Lena Haddix of Lawton, who has five children, eight grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. "I wanted to do something for the country."

Haddix has worked at the Fort Sill PX since 1977.

Haddix is now going through much of the same process soldiers go through before deployment, including shots and a thorough medical checkup to make sure she's physically able to do a tour of at least six months.

She will be sent to Fort Bliss, Texas, for one week of training, then be sent to Germany where she will receive her orders on where in Iraq she will be stationed.

21 YEARS AGO TODAY

Nov 24 1983

James (Jimmy the Beard) Ferrozzo's fully-clothed body was found on top of Teresa Hill, 23, a dancer at the Condor Club where Ferrozzo was an assistant manager.

A nude, screaming dancer found trapped under a man's crushed body on a trick piano that became pinned against a nightclub ceiling was too drunk to remember how she got there.

Ferrozzo probably saved the woman's life with a last-second kick that cut the switch on the motorized piano hoist, said fire Lt. Jim Lyons, whose rescue crew was called to the club. The body provided two or three inches of cushion that kept the woman from being crushed, he said.

The baby grand piano had been used for almost 20 years by entertainer Carol Doda, who made her entrance by reclining across the instrument while it was lowered by cable to the stage of the topless club.

"If I were to speculate on the cause of death, it would be asphyxiation as a result of being crushed," Detective Guinther Whitey said.

Police discovered shards of glass and blood spattered in the club. A little blood was found by the bar, but Detective Guinther Whitey said he couldn't be sure where it came from. "The young lady had a couple of cuts on her hand," he said.

The dancer said she had been dating Ferrozzo since her arrival in San Francisco two weeks ago.

No one is certain what caused the piano to rise toward the 12-foot-high ceiling, but something or someone may have bumped the switch, on the wall near the piano.

"I don't see how this could possibly have happened," said a young woman who identified herself as Desiree, a dancer at the club.

"When you get on the piano, it goes up so slow, they should have noticed it," she said. "They could have jumped off."

Hill was rescued after someone heard her shouts for help.

"She was so intoxicated she doesn't even remember getting on the piano," Whitey said. "She just remembers waking up and being pinned on the piano."

Hill was treated for bruises at a hospital.

-http://www.aarrgghh.com/no_way/pianoSex.htm

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - India has dropped a plan to bar politicians with more than two children from fighting elections for parliament or state legislatures, saying it does not want to use force to control the population.

Natural Hair Not Wanted

By Shaleem Thompson
Black College Wire

Photo credit: Jordan Colbert

Howard University's tryouts for cheerleading, band and dance squad have ended with allegations of discrimination based on hair.

"They went around basically telling everyone their imperfections," said one "flashy flags" contender who allegedly received comments from the coordinator about her short, natural hair.

"Hmm -- I don't know what we would do with your hair if you were chosen for the team," coordinator Lauren White said, according to the trainee.

"The band has to be uniform in terms of looks as well as performance," said band director John Newson. "When it is time to perform, 'straight hair' is the requirement."

Band Director Newson's assertion that "relaxed hair is my preference as well as everyone else's" leaves many begging to differ.

"I would think nothing of seeing someone with natural hair actually performing on the flashy flag wavers," Atrice Williams said. "I see many of the beautiful black women on the HU campus rocking the natural look, and the style is so common it might be weird not to see that on the squad."

White said she told tryouts that the band requires uniformity in all aspects, so that for performances everyone is required to have straight hair.

Subject: Why the English language is so difficult....

Say What?
=========

21 Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
   time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

From mezamashii via toiyabe